Why is everyone so obsessed with gender roles in today’s society?
The Western world is in a heated debate when it comes to gender roles in today’s society. There seems to be a disconnection between what men are looking for in a relationship and what women are striving for.
Women have more power, success, and higher education than ever in history. They finally had access to benefits and opportunities that were only available to men. From the right to vote, to compete in sports, or to attend university. We have seen a rise in women taking control of their lives financially. Something unimaginable just a few years ago.
Modern women are taking full advantage of these benefits. Nowadays, for every man, there are almost two women attending college. This is the highest gender imbalance favoring women seen in the U.S. college environment. This means more women have access to high-paying jobs, opportunities, and financial independence.
So, in theory, everything looks good. We are evolving as a society and the opportunity equality gap between men and women is closing. With that being said, what’s the problem then? Why are men and women looking for different things in a relationship? Well, that’s where the gender roles come into play.
What are these traditional gender roles?
Traditional gender roles are the distinctive behaviors, attitudes, and actions between men and women in society. This goes from how men are viewed and expected to be strong and take care of a family financially, to women being more nurturing and taking care of the family on an emotional level. Men are supposed to be the breadwinners while women are the caregivers.
These stereotypical roles were just part of life for centuries. No one thought about questioning them or challenging them. They seemed to be the natural way to live as a society. Men’s roles were to bring home the bacon, deal with home repairs, take out the trash, and be the leader and protector of the family. Whereas, women’s roles were to take care of the kids, clean the house, cook the meals, and just be good housewives.
These roles brought power imbalances in relationships for centuries. Men had complete control and power over women in relationships. Since married women were not supposed to work and stay in the house, they were completely financially dependent on men. Men could behave and do whatever they wanted without truly facing any consequences because they knew at the end of the day their wives could not leave them. Call it patriarchy if you want, but that’s how humans have behaved for thousands of years.
How modern society is trying to keep gender roles in place?
Things are changing in modern society, as stated previously, women are at the very peak of their existence. They have higher education, are in positions of power, and enjoy independence. This is unprecedented, to the point that many men feel threatened and intimidated by modern women.
These insecure men feel the need to criticize women who are ambitious, independent, and have bigger life goals than just staying at home. They associate these attitudes and behaviors with women having masculine traits.
For these men, a traditional woman with traditional gender roles is a feminine woman, whereas an ambitious woman is a masculine one. These labels are dangerous because they give women the impression that they need to choose between having a family or having a career. This decision should not be mutually exclusive. How come men can have the cake and eat it too, but women can’t? It seems like men can have their careers and a loving stable family, but women can’t. It doesn’t sound fair.
We are in 2023 and things have rapidly changed in the last 20 years. Adaptation has been difficult and slow, but progress has been made. Women have fought for equal opportunities and rights for so long that giving up on them is not a choice. Men should finally accept the fact that women are not going to back down, nor they shouldn’t. It is fair to recognize that many men not only have accepted this reality but also support it.
So, what should we strive for?
We should strive to live in a society where gender roles are a thing of the past. We should aim to have relationships in which we both hustle, we both clean, we both cook, we both pay, and we both spoil each other. And just to be clear, this is not a utopia or a fantasy dreamland. At the end of the day, cooking and cleaning are basic life skills. And women can also be hustlers and ambitious. It has nothing to do with gender roles.
And just for the sake of clarity, I’m not saying that traditional gender roles are bad. All I’m saying is not having them and distributing responsibilities in an equal way regardless of gender, should not be considered as something utterly ridiculous or even a red flag.
Much love,
Daniel
